Jan 16
JayaUncategorized Forgiveness
To Forgive
by: Scott F Paradis
Are you troubled and weary? Is something you are clinging to bringing you pain? Don’t succumb to the temptation to place blame. For the pain you feel is not from out there. The pain you feel inside, deep within your being – a sense of betrayal, loss, or bitter despair – is a feeling you manufacture, you nurture, you hold onto. This is not to say the circumstances you have endured are not deserving of an emotional release – just don’t allow that experience more than it is due. The tighter you cling to the pain (and the circumstances that triggered those feelings) the more power you give away. To be free to grow, to live and to love – you must move on, you must forgive.
Wherever ego looks, it sees conflict and division, pain and oppression. Ego’s tools are blame and fear. To move from the tempest to the calm, from trial to peace, from guilt to innocence, invest the talent and energy at your disposal to recognize the world for what it is — illusion. To embrace the true, enduring reality forgive those you perceive as trespassing against you and forgive the circumstances, the events, and the people you believe have conspired against you. By letting go of conflict you ultimately forgive yourself.
Remember these words: “I am responsible.” And “Forgiveness comes from forgiving.”
Life is to be lived. Whether you tend to believe you are journeying through the valley of death, or you are on a voyage of discovery, the truth is your final destination is the safety of a warm embrace and a loving home. To get to that destination do not squander your life, nor spend it frivolously wallowing in pain or self pity. Invest your treasure, your life and your love, freely in the lives of others. To do this you must be unencumbered by guilt and for peace to reign, you must forgive — all and always.
Today is not life in the fast lane; it is life in the oncoming lane. Ego puts you in the oncoming lane and accelerates life so that you find it difficult to hear the still small voice calling out to guide the way, the voice calling you home. Undo ego’s obstacles to recognize the truth. The biggest obstacles to truth are the perceptions in your mind you have been wronged or you are unworthy of going home. Both these misperceptions (blame and fear) require true forgiveness.
Your ultimate task in life is to unleash yourself from the bondage of this world. The journey from sleep to wakefulness is made in small steps. You forgive by not judging, by accepting responsibility for all you experience, and by letting go of perceived hurts and injustices. You see, if this life is an illusion, then so are your perceptions of injustice. There is no one to blame and nothing to fear.
Forgiving is giving peace, allowing a smile, inviting laughter despite the circumstances. You are not separate from your creator. You are not alone. You are one — whole, complete, powerful, and loving. You are forgiven in the same measure as you forgive others. See your face in the face of your brother and your sister and know that you are one. This is your life – take responsibility for it and forgive all else.
Copyright (c) 2011 Scott F Paradis
May 09
SymphonyUncategorized emotions, panic attacks
Taking medication for panic disorders really isn’t going to give you a real solution to your anxiety problem, however many–even doctors and other experts–appear to treat it as such. Natural anxiety relief is becoming a popular preference because it helps you really get at the core of the situation without suffering all the unintended implications that simply masking it will cause.
The following four bits of advice have helped many sufferers of anxiety find natural anxiety relief.
Find A Little Personal Time – Anxiety can often present itself during periods of great stress in our lives when we feel virtually overwhelmed with all the obligations that we must carry. Often when things start to get too beyond control at work, school, or somewhere else it is advisable to just find some private time for yourself. Plan a short vacation to escape from all the anxiety that you’re coping with and recharge your batteries. You’ll usually see that when you return, you’ll feel much better. Or you may just let go of some of the unimportant things that you are managing. I generally find that when I concentrate on one thing as opposed to ten, that things seem much more manageable. Simply by saying “no” to dealing with too many things in your life, you can really cut down on your stress and anxiety levels.
Take Pleasure in Some Exercise – Exercise is another great way to help you work out all that extra tension you may be feeling. The flight or fight response is actually what you enter when you start to feel anxiety coming into your life. When you experience acute anxiety attacks we cannot detect a clear cut reason for the feelings we are experiencing. With no evident thing around us to be frightened of, we don’t know what to do with all this extra energy and adrenaline that is flooding into our bodies. Without anywhere to go or something to do about it, it overwhelms us and we go through a panic attack. Your body really wants to get physical, so allow it! Getting out and enjoying a run or kicking a soccer ball around are great ways to work off all this extra energy and reduce your anxiety levels.
Accept the Anxiety – Resisting the feelings of stress that you feel only fuels the fire and makes your symptoms worse, which can cause a full-blown anxiety attack. It may seem somewhat counter intuitive, but most people have actually found that by welcoming the feelings of worry, that they pass fast without turning into horrifying anxiety attacks. There has honestly never been an incident of someone actually passing away from an anxiety attack, so don’t feel like you might be in real danger here. You’re not. You will be fine. You can actually start to play with the physical sensations that you undergo. Why fight this? If something really awful might happen, it’s best to just let it happen and move on with things instead of living in fear. Give this a shot. You will discover that it really has a way of minimizing your stress levels.
Other Natural Methods – There are many other alternative therapies out there these days you can use to help you get natural anxiety relief. Just some of these include tea, herbal remedies, acupuncture, tai-chi and deep breathing. All of these are natural and have helped lots of people find a way to cope with their anxiety without the use of medicine.
Medicine seriously isn’t the only remedy to reducing panic and anxiety disorders. There are so many different solutions these days with natural anxiety relief. Medicine has a proper place in the structure of things. It should be used to lower the levels of anxiety to a place where you could deal with and conquer the root cause. But regrettably most people use medicine as a quick-fix to simply mask the problem and go forward like they have fully recovered. If you want to overcome your anxiety challenges naturally try some of the methods right here for natural anxiety relief.
About the author -
Andrew Hunter used to struggle with panic and anxiety attacks. After mastering his emotions and retaking control of his life, he enjoys helping others overcome fears and move past personal barriers.
If you found this information helpful and you want to learn more ways to get natural anxiety relief, also check out http://www.understandingpanicattacks.com/natural-anxiety-relief/
May 06
JayaUncategorized
Here is a very interesting read I found online. I thought I should share it with you -
“You can bend it and twist it. You can misuse and abuse it. But even God cannot change the Truth.” – Michael Levy
Article written by Alex Blackwell. (http://www.thebridgemaker.com/30-true-things-you-need-to-know-now)
It is never too late to bring about lasting change for your life. No matter your present circumstances, not matter what has happened in your past; no matter your age, gender, or socioeconomic status, you are the creator of the life you want to live.
Dr. Gordon Livingston, author of Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, a Vietnam War veteran and practicing psychiatrist has experienced, first hand, the tragedies life can bring upon us. He has also found the necessity to keep joy and comfort alive regardless of the pain endured.
After learning more about Dr. Livingston’s life and the circumstances regarding how he lost his two sons within a thirteen month period, I have been moved by his commitment to preserve hope in a world capable of inflicting such great tragedy. His ability and strength to move forward in spite of the obstacles is inspirational.
Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart provides 30 essential truths to remind us that while we can’t escape who we are or what has happened to us; we are responsible for who we would like to be and where we want to go. I see incredible value in learning and living these truths. Here is how each truth touches my heart; I hope you find hope and value in these, too:
1. If the map doesn’t agree with the ground, the map is wrong. We are given mental maps as children. Our parents and other adults tell us what is right and what is wrong – sometimes they don’t always get it, well, right. Now as adults, when we find the maps we have relied on for so long can get us lost, we need to recalibrate and create more reliable guides based on what we now know to be true and where we want to go.
2. We are what we do. We are not what we think, or what we feel, or what we say, we are what we do. Actions do indeed speak louder than words. If you are unhappy with a particular part of your life, take a strong look at what you are doing to be happier.
3. It is difficult to remove by logic an idea not placed there by logic in the first place. By nature, we are emotional creatures. Often we live and react based on feelings, not logic. Feelings are wonderful, but when we become tied to a particular thought or belief we tend to ignore the fact that change might be necessary. If a negative behavior is driven by an emotion, then we must find a way to still satisfy the emotional need while putting an end to the destructive behavior.
4. The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood traumas. For some, childhood was pleasant, almost idyllic. But for others, when there has been serious physical, sexual or emotional abuse it is important to recognize this and process this with a trained professional. No matter your past, change is the essence of life. In order to move forward in life we need to learn to live in the present.
5. Any relationship is under the control of the person who cares the least. When relationships end it is typically because of unmet expectations or one person is not feeling love or cherished by the other. For relationships to grow and last both members have to be equal with the love they give; and both should do it, not because they think they have to do it, but because they want to do it.
6. Feelings follow behavior. No matter how hard we try, we don’t control what we think or what we feel. But, we do know which actions bring us happiness, pleasure and confidence. So, we do the actions that make us feel good. It is the action, the behavior that comes first. Take the next few days to notice how you feel after doing a particular behavior. If you like the feeling, do more of it. If not, change the behavior.
7. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. When we step out and claim what we want from the world a wonderful thing happens – the Universe responds.
8. The perfect is the enemy of the good. While it’s important to have control over our lives, it can be counterproductive to attempt to control our lives. The energy spent trying to be perfect can keep us from enjoying and appreciating all the good things that exist right before us.
9. Life’s two most important questions are “Why?” and “Why not?” The trick is knowing which one to ask. Understanding why we do certain things is the first step to change. Until we understand what motivates us, what we get from doing a particular behavior, there is no momentum to begin the change process. Likewise, by asking “Why not?” we begin assessing the risk versus reward aspect which can lead to bringing about productive change in our lives.
10. Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses. One of my biggest strengths as a person is I’m caring, sensitive and emotional – it is also my greatest weakness. While this strength helps me to build and maintain healthy relationships, it can also make me too reactive and less effective when dealing with conflict. This can create a confusing paradox for me from time-to-time, but having the awareness of the thin line between the two better prepares me to either use my strength or be mindful of my weakness.
11. The most secure prisons are those we construct for ourselves. What is your fear of change costing you? Too often what keeps us stuck is the belief we can’t move forward. Our head-trash tells us we are not worthy to have our heart’s desire. This fear; this incarceration, prevents us from breaking free and having the life we desire. Remember this: Before you can do anything, you must be able to imagine it. Imagining who and what you want to be, and then taking action, is the key to begin freeing yourself of what is holding you back.
12. The problems of the elderly are frequently serious but seldom interesting. The thought of our own mortality and demise can be a frightening one. Therefore, our attitude towards the aging can be callous because they are unwanted reminders of what’s ahead for us. However, the elderly can hold great value and wisdom for us. We must remember to show respect and gratitude for those near the end so the cycle can be repeated when it is our turn.
13. Happiness is the ultimate risk. No matter how painful, sometimes what we know is more comfortable than what we don’t know, even if we are depressed and miserable. Our misery can feel safe because it has been a part of us for so long. To seek happiness, to do things to break free of the depression, is a risk because we don’t know what it looks like or feels like to be happy. The antidote for this is hope and faith.
14. True love is the apple of Eden. “When I look back, the Garden is a dream to me. It was beautiful, surpassingly beautiful, enchantingly beautiful; and now it is lost, and I shall never see it any more. The Garden is lost, but I have found him and am content. – from Mark Twain in Eve’s Diary. True love is fair compensation for the obstacles and burdens of being human.
15. Only bad things happen quickly. When we think about the things that can change our lives in an instant we usually think of the negative ones first: accidents, our employer going out of business, or the news of a loved one becoming seriously ill. There is plenty of room; however, for good things to happen too, we just have to be more patient. Losing weight, improving a relationship, or creating a rewarding career all take effort, but the life-long satisfaction these bring can help to fill our souls when they are emptied-out by the bad.
16. Not all who wander are lost. When we were children we were told what to do. In our jobs, we are assigned tasks and projects. Our culture even has expectations of what we should do. It’s OK to step outside of the lines in order to follow what your inner wisdom is suggesting you do with your life. It’s not that you are lost when you wander, it’s just the opposite: You know what you want and you are only attempting to find the best path to your destination.
17. Unrequited love is painful but not romantic. Love is meant to be shared. When you give your heart to someone who is uninterested, it will only result in loneliness and disappointment. Instead find someone who will share love with you. When you do, you will feel the real power of love.
18. There is nothing more pointless, or common, than doing the same things and expecting different results. This truth also provides a very good definition for insanity. When things are not working in your life, try different things. The rub comes when we become so comfortable with the familiar we refuse to try something new. To grow we must also embrace change. The question then becomes what level of fear you are willing to walk through in order to change, grow and create the life you want.
19. We flee from the truth in vain. Somewhere along the way there are truths about ourselves we never allow to see the light of day. Shame, guilt or embarrassment keeps these truths hidden and locked away. But remember, we cannot change or heal what we do not acknowledge.
20. It’s a poor idea to lie to oneself. We may say the words, the words of a lie, but inside we know better; we know the truth. The most damaging lie we can tell ourselves involves making a promise. While good intentions are important, living the truth has far greater value in our life. Do what you say you are going to do, not just to improve the quality of your life, but to be able to live your life with confidence and self-respect.
21. We are all prone to the myth of the perfect stranger. Unless you are being victimized by your partner, chances are very good there are plenty of reasons to love your partner or spouse. It takes maturity, patience and trust to look across the fence and know your grass is greener.
22. Love is never lost, not even in death. To lose what means the most to us is the ultimate test of helplessness and survival. I have been very fortunate to not yet experience the death of a close relative. That day, however, will come. When it does, my hope is I can transfer all of the love I have for that person to others still with me. In that way, the love for the person lost will always be alive.
23. Nobody likes to be told what to do. As a parent it’s easy for me to sometimes tell one of my children what to do instead of just listen and offer advice, if requested. My need to control can trump their need to be heard and grow on their own. When this happens, communication is strained and trust can be eroded. Rather than telling my children what to do, my job as a parent is to give them hope that they can be successful in a very uncertain world. This can be achieved by limiting my lectures and by giving them the time and space to “figure it out,” while I’m standing by with a safety net.
24. The major advantage of illness is that it provides relief from responsibility. In an ironic twist, the days we feel under the weather can be some of the healthiest for us. We push, we rush and we often don’t take time to take care of ourselves. But when we are feeling ill, we are forced to to slow down, perhaps call in sick at work, and take it easy.
25. We are afraid of the wrong things. For the first 18 years of my marriage I feared the wrong things. I feared not earning enough money or not advancing quickly enough in my career. I should have feared losing my wife and family instead, because I almost did. Now, I try to live in the present moment and appreciate all I have. When I do this, I stay centered with hope and not distracted by fear.
26. Parents have a limited ability to shape children’s behavior, except for the worse. My wife and I often hope our greatest legacy to our children is to be able to break the cycle of pain and doubt we experienced as children. Our hope is our children will have the self-love and confidence needed to live a rich and full life. With that said, we are far from being perfect parents. But our focus is to help them be as happy as possible in a world that takes and demands so much of them.
27. The only real paradises are those we have lost. Too often we may view the past with a special fondness, perhaps reverence, too. But the past for most of us may be no different than the present, it just feels that way. To be honest, we may not always see the past for what it actually was. This view can be dangerous and it can keep us from living fully in the present, in the here and now.
28. Of all the forms of courage, the ability to laugh is the most profoundly therapeutic. Yes, things can go wrong in life. Yes, there are issues and problems to solve. But we have a choice. We can choose to become pessimistic and not see the value in what we experience, or we can choose to laugh as an admission to the fact we are not perfect and life can get the best of us at times. What a relief to know that no matter how bad things may look, a smile or a rift of laughter can begin to make the circumstances feel better.
29. Mental health requires freedom of choice. No matter how bleak or desperate a situation may appear to look, we always have choices. Even with the absence of answers or direction, we do have the power to choose what our next action is. We can choose to ask for help; we can choose to pray; we can choose to get up in the morning, get dressed and forge ahead. The ability to choose gives us power. We can use that power to begin removing the obstacles that confront us
30. Forgiveness is a form of letting go, but they are not the same thing. To be clear, the purpose of forgiveness is not to let the person who harmed you off the hook, the purpose of forgiveness is to end the grief it has cost you. Don’t just let go, forgive and truly surrender the feelings of anger and pain. This may seem difficult, almost impossible, until you attempt to do it.
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